Happy Anniversary, Woman!

Dear Fanatical Religious Right,

Today, my wife and I celebrated our 16/15th anniversary. Yes, it's true. We have been in a monogamous relationship for 16 years, and we have been not-legally-recognized-as-married by our own government for 15 years.

Zealots, I do appreciate your beliefs. You're entitled to them. Believe and worship to your heart's content. I do (or don't), and it's my right. It's your right, too. However, please keep it in your place of worship or your home. Please don't bring it to the laws that govern more than you. You know, the laws that govern those who are different than you, too.

In these 16/15 years, you've been yammering on and on about the sanctity of marriage, but in that time, half of you have divorced - bailed when times got too tough. Well, not us. And, FYI - the only sanctity that we have destroyed is that of the state's posted speed limit. (And, let's be honest, that's usually just Bubba.)

(In 2005, the median length of marriage was 11 years. This number hadn't improved by 2009 (at least according to the CDC). I'm just sayin'. Oh, and I might also add that Massachusets - the first state to allow same-sex marriage - has the lowest divorce rate, and it has for years. Again, just FYI.)

So, in our on-going quest to pick apart the moral fabric of our society with our "gayness," we will spend the evening eating take-out pizza and watching a sad movie about 9/11 while we take care of two adorable boys who have nasty colds. Yes, I can see how threatening that must be for you.

Happy anniversary to my wife.