Thursday, December 15, 2011

Jensen Family Holiday Party, 2011

Like I mentioned before, Bub was far too sick to come to this party. The boys and I headed out at 9am, and after two hours of good music and making a huge mess with breakfast (muffins - what was I thinking - crumbs everywhere) we were in Mt. Pleasant and greeted by a practically empty parking lot. No biggie, I thought, because my cousins and siblings would be along shortly. Sadly, I was wrong. This was the most poorly attended family party of my entire life. In that way, it sucked.

START RANT: I'm a little irritated that more people didn't show up. My aunt goes through a lot of trouble to rent the hall, get Santa to come, and make goodie bags (out of her own pocket) for everyone. She was left with about 40 extra goodie bags, and I'm pretty sure that we didn't cover the cost of the hall. What makes it worse is that we voted as a family to continue having this party after my grandma died. Now, we're not showing up. Pissed. OK - END RANT.

We had a fun time regardless of the fact that so few people were there. I got to catch up with a bunch of cousins and squeeze the cheeks of a new baby (who has the cutest Charlie Brown head with the fattest cheeks of any baby I've seen in a long time). I spent a lot of time running from Peanut to Meatball and back again about 700 times. Would it kill them to like doing the same thing at the same time? Sheesh!

Here they are with my cousin R and his wife K making their own bouncy balls. Meatball was all over this. Totally fascinating. Peanut just happened to stop by to see what the fuss was about.

Most of the time, Peanut was on the stage playing trains. Thank goodness that my cousin's daughter (two years younger than the boys) wanted to play cars and trains, too.

After eating, the boys sang a song for Aunts C and D. They did a really good job. Then, wouldn't you know it? We heard jingle bells at the door! Both boys looked at me with the cutest, widest eyes in the world. "It's Santa!" they both declared.

Santa and Mrs. Clause walked down the hall, and Peanut went completely ape shit. "Santa! Santa! It's Santa!" and on and on. Meatball, on the other hand, looked right at me and said "Mom, that's NOT the same guy."

Yes - it's true. We saw Santa at the pharmacy and sat on his lap not a week earlier. Oh, crap.

Me: Oh, it's the same guy, honey. It's Santa!
Meatball: Mom. It's not the same guy. He looks different.
Me: Look! He brought Mrs. Clause!
Meatball (not falling for the distraction): Why is he different?

What is a mom to do?

So, Santa sat down and started pulling gifts out of his bag for the kids.
Peanut: Santa! It's Santa! Saaaannnntaaaaa!!!!!
Meatball just sits still.

Of course Santa pulls Meatball's present out first.
Mrs. Clause: [Meatball]! Where is [Meatball]?
Meatball (whispering): That's not the present I asked for, mom.
Me: Oh, the elves are probably still working on that, honey. Go see Santa!
Meatball (whispering): No.
Me (pushing him off of my lap): Just go see him.

Meatball approaches Santa very warily, completely eye-balling him the whole time. He looks at Santa (super suspiciously), then to Mrs. Clause, then to me, and back to Santa, up and down. He takes his place on Santa's lap.

Santa: Ho, ho, ho! How are you?
Meatball (through clenched teeth): Fine.
Santa: Have you been a good boy?
Meatball (teeth still clenched): Yes.
Peanut (whispering): Mom! Look! Look! Mom, mom, mom!
Santa: What would you like for Christmas?
Meatball just looked at me with a See-I-Told-You-It-Wasn't-The-Same-Guy look.
Peanut (whispering): It's Santa!!!
Meatball (low voice and clenched teeth): Pet Vet.
Santa (looking confused): What was that?
Meatball (still...): Pet Vet.
Santa just looked at me.
Peanut (whispering): Oooooo, it's Santa!
Me (loudly, for Santa's benefit): Oh, yeah. That Pet Vet is going to be fun!
Santa: Oh, yes! The elves are working on that right now! Now, to get this present, you have to be a good boy. Have you been a good boy for mommy and daddy?
Meatball is completely exasperated at this point and thinks that Santa is the dumbest human on the face of the earth.
Meatball: I don't have a daddy.
Santa (stunned): Uhhhhhh......
I wish I knew what Santa was thinking right then.
Peanut (whispering): I'm so excited!
Me (to Peanut): I know, honey. Me too!
Meatball: I have two moms.
Santa: __________ (silence, but at least he has closed his mouth by now)
Meatball: One mom is sick and at home. This mom (pointing to me) is not sick. This is my not sick mom.
(Gee, thanks. I'll alert the religious right.)
Santa looked at me for some guidance. I had none to give him.
Santa: OK - you be a good boy! Ho, ho, ho!
Peanut: Oh, I hope it's my turn! (It wasn't. It was Aiden's turn instead.)
Mrs. Clause: [Peanut]! Where's [Peanut]?
Peanut (practically rushing the Clause couple): It's me! It's me!
Santa: And, what do you want for Christmas?
Peanut: THOMAS! And Gordon and Lady and Diesel 10 and a wooden Percy and Iron 'Arry and Iron Bert, and blah-ditty-blah-ditty-blah on and on about trains.
Santa: ________ (silent because he couldn't get a word in edge-wise)

In the end, they were both happy with their little gifts, and they even sang Santa their song before he left the building. Then, afterwards, we took a walk around the buildings there and looked for reindeer tracks where Santa may have parked his sleigh. We found some. Well, they could have been dog tracks or ostrich tracks or elephant tracks, but I managed to find the deer hoof outline. (No matter that there were no SLEIGH tracks...)

And, now, gratuitous child/Santa pics:

I even sat on Santa's lap. (How else was I going to get my goodie bag? It had a rice krispie treat in it, for pete's sake!)
I asked for new running socks.
I hope that I get them since I only have two pair (unless you count the mis-matched pair that I have to wear once in a while...).

1 comment:

Bee Girl said...

Sorry the turn out was so low! It seems to be getting harder and harder for people to simply SHOW UP! I don't get it!

Thanks for the funny Santa story! Holy hell, was that funny!? Good luck with the running socks ;-)