Friday, November 22, 2013

inside my head

Is it me?

Sometimes, my outside is calm. Well, there may be some unhappy vibes, but otherwise, I'm calm. I'm not freaking out. I'm not. I'm just sitting and looking out the window or whatever.

However, inside my head I am throwing a tantrum. I can picture myself. I am screaming. No words, but just a long, steady, incredibly loud scream. You know - the kind where the woman holds her fists to the side of her head in the movies?

And, I'm throwing something. Not a tub of popcorn, although that would be fine, but typically it's something hard and capable of breaking something. Or, it's something very breakable. And, I huck it. Hard. (Although, in my head, I can actually throw AND hit the thing that I'm aiming for.) OR, I'm kicking or stomping. Like sitting in my seat and kicking the windshield out of the car. Or, kicking a hole in the bathroom door. You know. Whatever.

But, I never do it. I never do any of it. I just sit. Sometimes, I yell, and that makes me suck as a person/mom/wife. But, I guess that's loads better than doing whatever think I'm thinking about doing.

1 comment:

Bee Girl said...

Do you own a punching bag? Sometimes, just to punch something (properly and wearing gloves) is a magical thing and can take the sting out of what's happening in your head. (((hugs)))