Ten year mark

My mom has been dead for ten years now. As I think happens for everyone, I’m usually - at the least – melancholy. I’m sometimes incredibly cantankerous or even pretty damn foul. I find myself often eating or drinking my feelings away on the anniversary of her death. I know – it’s not the healthiest way to deal with loss, but it’s what I do.

So, this year, I had grand plans to form a team to raise money and complete the 24-hour track walk for the American Cancer Society’s Relay For Life. Unfortunately, my team never came together partly because we’re all just so busy and partly due to poor leadership from me.

Instead of raising money and doing something healthy and fun and filled with family to commemorate her life, I did….. nothing. It’s hard for me to even put that statement in writing knowing that family members sometimes check in to see what I’m prattling on about, but – it’s true – I did nothing. I didn’t even realize that they day had come and gone. It was two days after the anniversary of her death before I even realized that I had missed it.

So, what’s that all about?

Yeah. I’m a busy person. My day begins at 5 with at least one little boy. It includes at least eight hours of hard work. (Yes, my latest assignment really does have me working quite a bit. Thinking is hard!) There is 1-2hours of commute time, bath, dinner, play time, and bedtime. THEN the housework begins! Dishes, laundry, sweeping/mopping, yard clean up, attention for the dogs – all of that takes place after 9pm. Oh, and sometimes, I try to cram in a 3-mile run or do some work from home! AND, I’m not alone in doing this! It takes two of us to keep up. (I’m grateful on a daily basis that I'm not a single parent. How do they do it?)

I’m sure that others are as busy as me. Hence the failure of our relay team to successfully get started. So, it’s understandable that a day can slip by without notice, right?

But, when did it become acceptable for me (or anyone) to be too busy to remember a loved one? It’s not just the anniversary of my mom’s death, either. I am guilty of forgetting things more often than I care to admit. And, not just things, but important dates and events which translates to people and their feelings.

So, I admittedly have some work to do. It’s not enough to just think of someone without some action to accompany it. To honor my mom’s memory, I have again signed up to run the Salt Lake marathon in April while raising money for the Huntsman Cancer Institute at the same time. I hope that the people I love will help me in this pursuit. In return, I promise to call, write, e-mail and blog like a mad-woman. I’ll try my hardest to remember all of your important days knowing that you always manage to remember mine.