I swear that we are destined to not have successful vacations.
We left on Thursday morning to gale force winds. But, hey – we’re headed south. We’ll be fine… At Fillmore, we stopped for food and to let the snow fall on our car. We had taken the back-back-back road route because of a storm that seemed to be moving directly up I-15. Because of this, we actually missed the worst parts of the storm. Whew! We left Fillmore without changing diapers.
We stopped again in St. George for gas and to clean up the uber-leak. Travelling with toddlers is such a joy. The car seat was soaked. Ah, the smell of urine. Whatever – we would be in Vegas soon enough. Every street there smells like urine.
We finally checked into our hotel around 4pm. The boys were so excited to take the elevator to our room. The room was nice. This vacation package (Diam*nd Resorts) was decent and our room had a bedroom, a hide-a-bed, full kitchen, and dining area. A hide-a-bed is about the coolest thing in the world when you are two years old. Just so you know. We were basically across the street from Planet Hollywood and about ½ block off the strip. We hit the streets for about 15 minute s – just long enough to go to the M*Ms store and pull about 83 things off of the shelves. After that point, we were so cold that we gave up. Mommies got a drink and we headed back to the room for dinner and TV. Besides, we were all cranky from the drive.
Toddlers don’t really understand the concept of time, so the next morning, they proceeded to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn. We decided to find something to do (good luck). Did I mention that the rooms in our condo place had doorbells? Well, they did. Waking people up in Vegas at 6:30am is not a pretty sight, but it’s what we did since Meatball ran out our door and directly across the hall and started ringing bells. We extended our apologies and walked REALLY quickly to the elevator.
We headed down the strip for our fun day of free activities – like aquariums and clown shows, and parrots, and hula dancers. I got this GREAT list of stuff off of the internet. Boy, were we going to have a GREAT time! Until we didn’t. Here’s a shock – the internet isn’t always updated. Son of a… We got to see an aquarium about as big as the one in Papa’s front room. We saw exactly zero lions, clowns, parrots, or scantily clad Polynesian women. Instead, we walked a lot. A LOT, a lot. We headed back to our condo in order to go through the obligatory timeshare presentation (there is a reason that our stay was so cheap). Finally, we catch a break: No kids during the presentation. Nobody had told us that. HALLELUJIAH! We hugged on those boys all the way back to our room. Then, it was nap time.
I went for a run on the strip while the boys slept and Bub tried to walk across a six-foot swath of ground coke bottles. OK, not really (duh), but it would have been more fun. After the nap, we rode the elevator several more times, walked on the strip some more, and finally went swimming. The boys enjoyed jumping in and yelling Vegas, Baby! everytime. The pool was perfect as long as you had your body submerged. If you were out of the water too long, your nipples froze and just popped right off. We played there until Peanut barfed all over the pool deck. We were everybody’s favorite pool patrons?
Back to the room for dinner, and then we headed over to the mall attached to Planet Hollywood. This was actually fun. They had several free shows that the boys loved, and mommies didn’t have to think much. There was a rainstorm that just started in the middle of the walking area, a laser light show that proved to be a great place to run around (and around and around and around), and a water fountain show right outside of a strip club. Did I mention that I’m a prude, and I don’t ever want to take the boys back to Vegas, Baby!?!?!
We packed up the next morning and headed out to breakfast at Margaritaville. The only seating was on the balcony where we froze our butts off. Seriously, it should have been 75*, but was more 55*. Oh, what joy. The boys basically ate jam out of the little packets while Bub and I thoroughly enjoyed our food (really – for a change it was good, and the boys were almost well behaved). Then, we went to the Flamingo to see more free stuff. We actually had a good time here because the grounds were well kept and they had a lot of birds and fish to see.
Finally, we headed for home. We made a stop in Mesquite for some limoncello (which is now sold in Tooele), and the rest was uneventful. Except for the weather. It continued to be snowy and crappy for the rest of the week! I think that we should just vacation in our own back yard.
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