Feeling like I let them down

I was recently asked by a couple very close to us if I would be their surrogate. A couple of years after the birth of their daughter, she had to have a full hysterectomy, but they really want to have more kids. I said YES on the spot, but warned them that the doctors might not agree. There were tears of relief, joy, and anticipation. There was also a big argument at our house regarding my safety.

Interesting rules regarding surrogacy in Utah:
The carrier cannot donate the egg, too.
The carrier must have had at least one previous pregnancy.
Everyone (and I mean EVERYONE - from the parents to the carrier to the kids of both to the grandparents and the next door neighbor) must attend mandatory counseling.

After a week of phone calls with a surrogacy coordinator (what an odd job!), it was determined that I could not fill this need for them. The reason: I had a couple of complications while pregnant with the boys. I'm sure that the doctors explained it all to me at the time, but I must have downplayed the situation. After all, who DOESN'T downplay the fact that their liver isn't functioning and they get to spend five days in the hospital? Anyway, I was thinking that Cholestatis and Fatty Liver weren't that big of a deal. Shows what I know! Turns out, they can actually be fatal to the pregnant woman and/or the baby(ies).

And, here we are - almost four years later.

How did we get so lucky?

So, no surprise when the doctors said "are you friggin' kidding?" and denied their choice of carriers. I know that it's silly, but I feel like I let them down somehow. I know that I couldn't control this, but I sure wish I could have. It would have been great to give them this most precious gift.