Waiting for Santa to arrive in the annual Santa Parade. It was COLD!!!
Undeterred by the FAH-REEZING temperatures!
What a cutie!
Adorable!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
More boy pictures
Waiting for Santa to arrive in the annual Santa Parade. It was COLD!!!
Undeterred by the FAH-REEZING temperatures!
What a cutie!
Adorable!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Aspiring Novelist
Last November while reading a now defunct blog (Pussy Scratch), I read for the first time about NaNoWriMo. The blog’s author was participating in NaNoWriMo but that was about all that was said. Curious to know exactly what NaNoWriMo was, I checked out their website.
National Novel Writing Month kicks off at midnight on November 1 and wraps up at midnight on November 30. Each participant is trying to write a short fictional novel of 50,000 words in those 30 days. The aspiring novelist can have a storyline fulminating in the brain as well as some character outlines, but the actual writing cannot begin until the stroke of midnight on November 1. I thought that it would be fun, but since I didn’t find out about it until the month and the contest were well underway, I decided to wait for the 2009 competition. I thought about my novel all year long.
I was so excited to begin that I stayed up until midnight to get a good start on the entire thing. I knew that it would be hard since I don’t really have time to get anything done until after 9pm, but I was determined to make this work. Besides, I did the math, and knew that I would need to write 1667 words per day to meet the 50K goal by the end of the month. That’s only 835 words per hour for two hours per night. No big deal since I can type 80 words per minute meaning I could technically reach my daily word count in about 30 minutes.
As usual, I failed to account for all of the scenarios that go along with writing since I haven’t really done any except for training materials, process documentation, and newsletter updates for years. I don’t remember the last time I wrote something of fiction (high school?), so I thought that getting a story to flow out of my regimented and orderly brain, but that part actually came easier than I had ever imagined. I AM a creative person after all.
I can say now that the whole thing sounds easier than it really is. I wrote at night. I wrote on my lunch break. I wrote on the bus. I wrote every chance I could get. I decided early on to write about something that I was familiar with or that someone I knew could eventually help me with. I did absolutely no fact checking because that’s what I’m going to use my experts for. I made up names of towns and streets and places knowing that I could edit it later.
They don’t know it yet, but so far my experts will be Holly (for facts about Kansas), Jake (for facts about Iraq and the USMC), and Massoud (for facts about Iraq).
So, I finished the 50K words with just 30 minutes to spare on November 30 – just enough time to log into the NaNoWriMo site and input my novel into the word counter. On about day 20, I worried that I wouldn’t have enough of a story to meet the word count goal, but at the end, I didn’t have enough time to finish my story! My two main characters are just now getting to THE MOMENT where their plan kicks into action. Then, I have to guide them through the execution of the plan and the happily-ever-after. If I continue in the same manner as I have been going, I will need another 30-50K words to really make the story complete.
The prize of the “contest” is simply satisfaction in completing the challenge. There is no winner of best story or blue ribbon for most original storyline (which mine would totally win, I’m sure…). It’s just a sense of pride that will allow the participant to hold his or her head high. Therefore, I am a winner! However, if the author determines that story is really good, s/he can try to get it published. I think that my story is pretty darn good even though it isn’t completed yet. When I say that I need 30-50K more to finish the story, I mean I would need that amount to finish it in its rough format. If I seriously considered submitting it to a publisher, I would need to really flesh out several parts of it because they are very lean as is. Then, I would need to have it edited.
Something that I want to do? Maybe. It’s worth a shot. I wouldn’t be out anything except for the time and energy that I’ve spent. It does make me realize why writers take so long to get things done. There is just a lot to do in order to create a story that is worth the reader’s time. I definitely have a new appreciation for the author of every fictional book that I’ve ever read! I say that the storyline was easier for me than I expected, but that is NOT to say that the whole thing was easy.
So, will I continue my story and see where it takes me? Perhaps. But, there may be something more practical on the horizon for the next 18 months. I’ll hopefully know more about that by the end of this week. In the mean time, I’m writing holiday cards, baking banana bread, re-building my closet, singing Christmas carols with our adorable little boys, trying to find the time to upload pictures to my computer, potty training, and trying to stay afloat in this ridiculous economy. At least, that’s what I’m doing THIS week!
National Novel Writing Month kicks off at midnight on November 1 and wraps up at midnight on November 30. Each participant is trying to write a short fictional novel of 50,000 words in those 30 days. The aspiring novelist can have a storyline fulminating in the brain as well as some character outlines, but the actual writing cannot begin until the stroke of midnight on November 1. I thought that it would be fun, but since I didn’t find out about it until the month and the contest were well underway, I decided to wait for the 2009 competition. I thought about my novel all year long.
I was so excited to begin that I stayed up until midnight to get a good start on the entire thing. I knew that it would be hard since I don’t really have time to get anything done until after 9pm, but I was determined to make this work. Besides, I did the math, and knew that I would need to write 1667 words per day to meet the 50K goal by the end of the month. That’s only 835 words per hour for two hours per night. No big deal since I can type 80 words per minute meaning I could technically reach my daily word count in about 30 minutes.
As usual, I failed to account for all of the scenarios that go along with writing since I haven’t really done any except for training materials, process documentation, and newsletter updates for years. I don’t remember the last time I wrote something of fiction (high school?), so I thought that getting a story to flow out of my regimented and orderly brain, but that part actually came easier than I had ever imagined. I AM a creative person after all.
I can say now that the whole thing sounds easier than it really is. I wrote at night. I wrote on my lunch break. I wrote on the bus. I wrote every chance I could get. I decided early on to write about something that I was familiar with or that someone I knew could eventually help me with. I did absolutely no fact checking because that’s what I’m going to use my experts for. I made up names of towns and streets and places knowing that I could edit it later.
They don’t know it yet, but so far my experts will be Holly (for facts about Kansas), Jake (for facts about Iraq and the USMC), and Massoud (for facts about Iraq).
So, I finished the 50K words with just 30 minutes to spare on November 30 – just enough time to log into the NaNoWriMo site and input my novel into the word counter. On about day 20, I worried that I wouldn’t have enough of a story to meet the word count goal, but at the end, I didn’t have enough time to finish my story! My two main characters are just now getting to THE MOMENT where their plan kicks into action. Then, I have to guide them through the execution of the plan and the happily-ever-after. If I continue in the same manner as I have been going, I will need another 30-50K words to really make the story complete.
The prize of the “contest” is simply satisfaction in completing the challenge. There is no winner of best story or blue ribbon for most original storyline (which mine would totally win, I’m sure…). It’s just a sense of pride that will allow the participant to hold his or her head high. Therefore, I am a winner! However, if the author determines that story is really good, s/he can try to get it published. I think that my story is pretty darn good even though it isn’t completed yet. When I say that I need 30-50K more to finish the story, I mean I would need that amount to finish it in its rough format. If I seriously considered submitting it to a publisher, I would need to really flesh out several parts of it because they are very lean as is. Then, I would need to have it edited.
Something that I want to do? Maybe. It’s worth a shot. I wouldn’t be out anything except for the time and energy that I’ve spent. It does make me realize why writers take so long to get things done. There is just a lot to do in order to create a story that is worth the reader’s time. I definitely have a new appreciation for the author of every fictional book that I’ve ever read! I say that the storyline was easier for me than I expected, but that is NOT to say that the whole thing was easy.
So, will I continue my story and see where it takes me? Perhaps. But, there may be something more practical on the horizon for the next 18 months. I’ll hopefully know more about that by the end of this week. In the mean time, I’m writing holiday cards, baking banana bread, re-building my closet, singing Christmas carols with our adorable little boys, trying to find the time to upload pictures to my computer, potty training, and trying to stay afloat in this ridiculous economy. At least, that’s what I’m doing THIS week!
Self Directed Time Out
So, lately upon being placed in time out, both of our brilliant little people have realized what time out means and what happens at the beginning, middle, and end.
In a few attempts at a pre-emptive strike, Meatball has decided to put himself into time out when he does something that he knows is naughty. “I go naughty corner,” really means “If I say when I go, I can also say how long I sit there, which won’t be more than 30 seconds.” Nice try….
At the end of time out, the offender must say he is sorry to the victim and give hugs. Peanut is also trying to work the system by saying, after mere moments, “Mommy, I sorry. I wuv you. I get up now.” Uh, no, no, no, no, little man….
A recent favorite is when I say to either of them “Go to the naughty corner,” they reply “No, YOU go naughty corner!” Listen, little demons, you’re not scoring any points with that, but I must say that I love how cute and funny it is!
In a few attempts at a pre-emptive strike, Meatball has decided to put himself into time out when he does something that he knows is naughty. “I go naughty corner,” really means “If I say when I go, I can also say how long I sit there, which won’t be more than 30 seconds.” Nice try….
At the end of time out, the offender must say he is sorry to the victim and give hugs. Peanut is also trying to work the system by saying, after mere moments, “Mommy, I sorry. I wuv you. I get up now.” Uh, no, no, no, no, little man….
A recent favorite is when I say to either of them “Go to the naughty corner,” they reply “No, YOU go naughty corner!” Listen, little demons, you’re not scoring any points with that, but I must say that I love how cute and funny it is!
Pretty Marble Eggs
So, we have ten differently colored marble eggs. They are actual size, and we really liked taking them out of their bowl and counting them and naming the colors. It became a fun activity as soon as I walked in the door at the end of the work day. “Mommy, Mommy! Count the eggs?” So, we would sit on the floor and count and point to the colors and line them up in an egg train and put them in and out of the bowl. It was fun. The eggs were at a level where the boys could reach them play with them at will. They started taking the eggs and placing them in different places in the front room like in the bowl of one of our African figures, behind the legs of the stereo console, on the keys of the piano.
One Saturday, I was doing dishes, and Bubba was running errands. The boys were playing with the eggs. After a while, I heard Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! sounds. Thinking that they were dropping the eggs on the floor or the coffee table, I went in prepared to give them a good talking to. Imagine my dismay when I saw that they had pulled the cover off and were dropping the eggs down the heating duct!!!
I was able to just pull most of them out. However, I had to get a big spoon out with a long handle and jam my arm down the duct as far as it would go, and I could still barely get to the last egg. Luckily, the duct ran parallel to the floor instead of dropping off immediately!
One Saturday, I was doing dishes, and Bubba was running errands. The boys were playing with the eggs. After a while, I heard Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! sounds. Thinking that they were dropping the eggs on the floor or the coffee table, I went in prepared to give them a good talking to. Imagine my dismay when I saw that they had pulled the cover off and were dropping the eggs down the heating duct!!!
I was able to just pull most of them out. However, I had to get a big spoon out with a long handle and jam my arm down the duct as far as it would go, and I could still barely get to the last egg. Luckily, the duct ran parallel to the floor instead of dropping off immediately!
Squeaky Penis
The boys love balloons. I’m sure that all kids do. We blow them up and toss them around and kick them when they fall on the floor and try to look through them (which works well with yellow and orange, not so much with purple). They are fuuuuunnnn. So, one day, I was blowing up some more balloons, and realized that I had never shown the boys how to squeak the balloons by pulling the stem. Well, we had a good time with that. We blew up several balloons and squeaked them until they lost their squeakability. Then, I showed them how a balloon will fly around the room and make farting noises all by itself when released. We didn’t like that so much. Peanut thought that it was hysterical; Meatball thought it was terrifying; he still hates it.
So, anyway, tons of fun, right? A couple of days later, Peanut was making a pee-pee on the potty (yeah!). I went in because he was taking a long time, longer than usual, and what did I find him doing? Yes – making a squeaky penis with his foreskin.
So, anyway, tons of fun, right? A couple of days later, Peanut was making a pee-pee on the potty (yeah!). I went in because he was taking a long time, longer than usual, and what did I find him doing? Yes – making a squeaky penis with his foreskin.
Friday, December 11, 2009
So much to say, so little time
OK - this post isn't a real post - it's more of a reminder to myself for what I need to blog about. Life has been crazy, and I bought a digital camera that we actually like! So, not only do I have a lot of blogging to do, but lots of pictures to upload!
So, here's a quick teaser: Marble eggs, three toddlers, Fernley NV, malfunctioning holiday lights, TBL, self directed time out, squeaky penis, Taco Time, transcripts, Jensen family feast, and aspiring novelist.
There. Details to follow (as I plan to write while driving to the JFF this weekend).
So, here's a quick teaser: Marble eggs, three toddlers, Fernley NV, malfunctioning holiday lights, TBL, self directed time out, squeaky penis, Taco Time, transcripts, Jensen family feast, and aspiring novelist.
There. Details to follow (as I plan to write while driving to the JFF this weekend).
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Trip to Lake Tahoe – or not
The nice thing about blogging is that you can do it when the event happens or later, but you can back-date the post to reflect the correct time period. That’s what I’m doing here today – not because I didn’t want to write about the events, but because I just simply have not had the time. So, here I sit on the bus, calmly reflecting on our trip to Lake Tahoe, and I can now say with certainty that IT SUCKED! IT WAS AS MISERABLE AS IT’S ABOUT TO SOUND! FERNLEY, NV, (while probably a nice place to visit sometimes) WAS NOT FUN! There. I said it. The passage of time did nothing to make this trip any better than it was.
Being the ever economical (cheap skate) person that I am, I took advantage of a time-share sales pitch with a perfectly nice company (Diam*nd Resorts). Their customer service was awesome, and I would recommend them to anyone. I will use them again if I find myself traveling to a place that they service, although we’re not going to buy any time-shares any time soon. Anyhooooo…. The original trip was changed, and then it was changed again, and then we couldn’t go to our original destination, and then it was changed (all us, by the way). Finally, they said “Look, you’ve paid for this, but you’re going to lose it. Do you want to go to Vegas or Tahoe?” Well, we aren’t really Vegas people, and Bub’s folks got married in Tahoe, and it just sounds so pretty, and we finally made our reservations for the first week in December. As the time approached, I questioned a coworker who hails from that area, and she assured me that it was beautiful and we would love it and blah, blah, blah. As our travel date approached, I checked and re-checked the weather several times since we would be driving.
Travel day: we packed the boys into the car, dropped the dog off at dad’s, and headed out. I didn’t tell Bub that the weather forecast had changed, but even so, it wasn’t supposed to be horrible – just snowy, which we deal with all of the time. Here’s a tip: this is an exceptionally boring drive. I did my best to keep everyone entertained, but holy cats….. It was cold as we stopped for snacks in Wendover. It was colder as we stopped for gas in Elko, and then it hit.
Weather: SUCKED! At first it was cold and windy. Fine. Then, it was cold and windy and that snow-that-has-particles-so-small-that-it-looks-like-fog-when-big-rigs-and-wind-whip-it-around started. This foggy-snow got so bad that we were down to just one lane with the exception of the incredible idiots who would whip past us every so often. I assume that some of them were off the road later, but how would we know? You couldn’t see the tracks going off the road due to the foggy-snow, and we couldn’t have seen 10-feet past our doors anyway. I hope none of them froze to death. The foggy-snow eventually turned into a heavy paste-like offering which just got more and more slippery with every passing mile. This also occurred at almost the same place where we were supposed to turn off to get to Tahoe instead of Reno. We made the exit, but the roads were treacherous and nobody else seemed to be going this way. We opted for the long route.
Did I mention how much Bub hates to drive in the snow with the boys? Well, she does. Have I also made note of the fact that when she stress-drives, she really STRESS-drives and gets a little frazzled/defensive/ornery/bitchy/freaky? Well, she does. Finally, since I mostly like to present myself in a very positive manner, have I failed to mention that if there is a bitch contest, I simply MUST be the winner? Well, it’s true. So, this drive was particularly enjoyable….
Finally, in order to get to our destination, we had to get off the freeway. The “round about” was really no help at all, and we just couldn’t figure out which road (of six) to take. Much crankiness ensued. We decided to stop at a service station, buy a map, and ask for directions. As I was talking to the attendant, Bub was talking to people in the parking lot. She stuck her head in the door of the c-store and simply said “We are not going anywhere.” Turns out, several cars had crashed on the road that we needed to take. It just wasn’t worth the risk. So, we decided to spend the night in…. nope – we didn’t even know where we were.
Fernley, NV: Yup. Fernley. I’m sure in other situations it’s probably tolerable, but not so much on this night. Whatever. Screw it. We just need a hotel. Lo and behold (the angels started to sing), there are some hotels right by the c-store because we happen to be in trucker paradise. We headed to the first one on our side of the road with vacancy (a lot of people were already hunkering down) which also happened to say “Pool.” Niiiiiice. We can entertain our little terrors. We checked in, promptly had the boys start jumping on the bed, and I ran over to the nearby casino to grab some dinner and to the Wal*Mart for some beer/wine. I, of course, forgot to buy a corkscrew…..
We were greeted the next morning by at least two feet of snow that had fallen on our car overnight. The cars on either side of us had both been damaged in accidents, presumably from the night before. What a mess! I toodled on over to the office for our complimentary breakfast. For a Sup*r 8, it wasn’t bad at all. The selection was good: muffins, bagels, cereal, coffee (no hot chocolate), fresh fruit, milk, juice, coffee cakes… I loaded up and headed back to the room.
After breakfast, we decided to swim and then assess the travel situation, certain that we would be able to proceed on to Tahoe by lunch. So, with our swimming suits on under our sweaters, pants, hats, coats, and boots, we trudged back to the office to take a little dip. And, little it was. Bub and Peanut got in first, and his lips immediately turned blue. Both being haters of cold water, Meatball and I slowly followed. We swam for about five minutes all the while thinking that if we just moved around enough that it would get better. Yeah, not so much. But, ahhhhhhh…… the hot tub! We can just play in a much smaller pool, right? Nope! It was SCALDING hot. Bub wouldn’t even go in to the point where it would touch Peanut’s toes. SONOFA…… We went back to the room to jump on the bed more, but not before the boys took a nice warm bath. They totally splashed up the joint.
At some point, food was in order. We asked the lobby clerk what was close, and settled on the Quizn*s. The four block drive was dicey, scary, and generally not fun. The roads had been plowed, but SINCE IT WAS STILL SNOWING LIKE A MUTHA it didn’t seem to matter in the least. Almost everything that we passed was closed – restaurants, fast food, stores, city offices, schools – so we were lucky that we were able to get sandwiches. They took a check – not because they wanted to or because they’re just helpful like that – but because there was NO POWER and they couldn’t scan my card. Frankly, I think that they were happy to have somebody to serve since any refrigerated products needed to be eaten pretty quickly.
We returned to our room to watch the local weather person tell us to hunker down and wait it out. Ahhh, fun. After a nap, we all hiked over to the Wal-M*rt to waste some time. After a tip from a friend, I thought that we would be crafty and create Christmas trees out of ice cream cones and M*Ms. Not paying a bit of attention, it wasn’t until we got back to our room that I realized that I got the wrong kind of cones. Instead of the funnel shaped ones, I got the flat-bottomed cones. So, we attempted to make Christmas hedges. What-friggin-ever. It kept us occupied for a little while. Then, we just watched TV. I did trek to the swimming pool again, but it was still fah-reezing. More tub time! All of our fellow travelers stayed put, too. Tonight: over-priced and crappy Chinese food that I walked through drifts of snow to retrieve.
The next morning: still snowing. STILL SNOWING. Now, we’ll never get to Tahoe. Screw it. Weatherman: stay put. Roads: crap. Attitudes: tanking. Patience: gone. Me to the lobby clerk: Where do you go for fun around here? Lobby clerk to me: Well, there’s the W*lMart….. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, she wised up and recommended a great bowling alley with a huge indoor play area (since the McDon*ld’s didn’t have one). It was probably going to be busy since the schools were closed, but we were willing to face hundreds of kids. Which we would have IF IT HAD BEEN OPEN.
We stopped by the neighboring beauty salon to find out about the bowling alley’s hours, but none of them knew a thing. Funny. The entire town is at a standstill, but women can manage to still get their nails done….. Fine. Let’s go to…. We’ll….. Maybe we should….. FUCK! We are trapped in small hotel room with two toddlers!!!! What are we going to do? Liquor store, you say? Why, yes, thankyouverymuchdon’tmindifIdo. Salons and liquor stores – the only places open….. After we picked up a six-pack and another bottle of wine, we thought that we would give the bowling alley another shot. And, then the angels started to sing because the proprietor was plowing the lot!!!! We waited. You bet your ass we did. We were the first people in the place that day. The boys bowled their first (and so far, only) games. They had a blast.
Then, we ordered some greasy fries and went to the play place. It really was huge. And cool. They started having fun jumping in the balls and going down the slides, and then…..
The manager turned on the air system. So cool is this play place that it has a whole compressed air system that shoots those plastic balls around – ball fountains, ball guns, ball blowers – it’s bitchin’. Unless you’re two. Then, the noise is scary, and you just cry – a LOT. OK – let’s go back and hunker in our teeny jail cell of a hotel room and enjoy more crappy take out. It was so unexciting that I don’t even remember what it was. Lots of bickering, and TV watching. Really, that’s about all there is to do in Fernley.
We woke up the next morning and couldn’t pack stuff into the car fast enough. The weather had cleared in time for us to return to home and work. Oh, yes. The weather is always good when the weekend is over. We never made it to Tahoe. Instead, we drove the nine million hours home. After only about three million of those hours, our windshield wipers stopped wiping. They just stayed in one spot. No biggie if the weather had been perfect. However, the weekend worth of snow ensured that the roads were just wet enough that every semi-truck splashed gunk all over our windshield. We stopped about 5932 times to clean the glass with snow. It was a real treat. (By the way, the wipers worked just fine the next morning…..)
The vacation company that we booked through was nice enough to extend our package AGAIN since it was weather related. We had our choice of going to Vegas or Tahoe. Bub has declared that we are NEVER going to Tahoe again. Frankly, I think that this is unfair since we never actually made it, but whatever. Vegas it is. Fernley, NV, and its surrounding salons/liquor stores/terrifying bowling alleys/icey pools, is in the books.
Being the ever economical (cheap skate) person that I am, I took advantage of a time-share sales pitch with a perfectly nice company (Diam*nd Resorts). Their customer service was awesome, and I would recommend them to anyone. I will use them again if I find myself traveling to a place that they service, although we’re not going to buy any time-shares any time soon. Anyhooooo…. The original trip was changed, and then it was changed again, and then we couldn’t go to our original destination, and then it was changed (all us, by the way). Finally, they said “Look, you’ve paid for this, but you’re going to lose it. Do you want to go to Vegas or Tahoe?” Well, we aren’t really Vegas people, and Bub’s folks got married in Tahoe, and it just sounds so pretty, and we finally made our reservations for the first week in December. As the time approached, I questioned a coworker who hails from that area, and she assured me that it was beautiful and we would love it and blah, blah, blah. As our travel date approached, I checked and re-checked the weather several times since we would be driving.
Travel day: we packed the boys into the car, dropped the dog off at dad’s, and headed out. I didn’t tell Bub that the weather forecast had changed, but even so, it wasn’t supposed to be horrible – just snowy, which we deal with all of the time. Here’s a tip: this is an exceptionally boring drive. I did my best to keep everyone entertained, but holy cats….. It was cold as we stopped for snacks in Wendover. It was colder as we stopped for gas in Elko, and then it hit.
Weather: SUCKED! At first it was cold and windy. Fine. Then, it was cold and windy and that snow-that-has-particles-so-small-that-it-looks-like-fog-when-big-rigs-and-wind-whip-it-around started. This foggy-snow got so bad that we were down to just one lane with the exception of the incredible idiots who would whip past us every so often. I assume that some of them were off the road later, but how would we know? You couldn’t see the tracks going off the road due to the foggy-snow, and we couldn’t have seen 10-feet past our doors anyway. I hope none of them froze to death. The foggy-snow eventually turned into a heavy paste-like offering which just got more and more slippery with every passing mile. This also occurred at almost the same place where we were supposed to turn off to get to Tahoe instead of Reno. We made the exit, but the roads were treacherous and nobody else seemed to be going this way. We opted for the long route.
Did I mention how much Bub hates to drive in the snow with the boys? Well, she does. Have I also made note of the fact that when she stress-drives, she really STRESS-drives and gets a little frazzled/defensive/ornery/bitchy/freaky? Well, she does. Finally, since I mostly like to present myself in a very positive manner, have I failed to mention that if there is a bitch contest, I simply MUST be the winner? Well, it’s true. So, this drive was particularly enjoyable….
Finally, in order to get to our destination, we had to get off the freeway. The “round about” was really no help at all, and we just couldn’t figure out which road (of six) to take. Much crankiness ensued. We decided to stop at a service station, buy a map, and ask for directions. As I was talking to the attendant, Bub was talking to people in the parking lot. She stuck her head in the door of the c-store and simply said “We are not going anywhere.” Turns out, several cars had crashed on the road that we needed to take. It just wasn’t worth the risk. So, we decided to spend the night in…. nope – we didn’t even know where we were.
Fernley, NV: Yup. Fernley. I’m sure in other situations it’s probably tolerable, but not so much on this night. Whatever. Screw it. We just need a hotel. Lo and behold (the angels started to sing), there are some hotels right by the c-store because we happen to be in trucker paradise. We headed to the first one on our side of the road with vacancy (a lot of people were already hunkering down) which also happened to say “Pool.” Niiiiiice. We can entertain our little terrors. We checked in, promptly had the boys start jumping on the bed, and I ran over to the nearby casino to grab some dinner and to the Wal*Mart for some beer/wine. I, of course, forgot to buy a corkscrew…..
We were greeted the next morning by at least two feet of snow that had fallen on our car overnight. The cars on either side of us had both been damaged in accidents, presumably from the night before. What a mess! I toodled on over to the office for our complimentary breakfast. For a Sup*r 8, it wasn’t bad at all. The selection was good: muffins, bagels, cereal, coffee (no hot chocolate), fresh fruit, milk, juice, coffee cakes… I loaded up and headed back to the room.
After breakfast, we decided to swim and then assess the travel situation, certain that we would be able to proceed on to Tahoe by lunch. So, with our swimming suits on under our sweaters, pants, hats, coats, and boots, we trudged back to the office to take a little dip. And, little it was. Bub and Peanut got in first, and his lips immediately turned blue. Both being haters of cold water, Meatball and I slowly followed. We swam for about five minutes all the while thinking that if we just moved around enough that it would get better. Yeah, not so much. But, ahhhhhhh…… the hot tub! We can just play in a much smaller pool, right? Nope! It was SCALDING hot. Bub wouldn’t even go in to the point where it would touch Peanut’s toes. SONOFA…… We went back to the room to jump on the bed more, but not before the boys took a nice warm bath. They totally splashed up the joint.
At some point, food was in order. We asked the lobby clerk what was close, and settled on the Quizn*s. The four block drive was dicey, scary, and generally not fun. The roads had been plowed, but SINCE IT WAS STILL SNOWING LIKE A MUTHA it didn’t seem to matter in the least. Almost everything that we passed was closed – restaurants, fast food, stores, city offices, schools – so we were lucky that we were able to get sandwiches. They took a check – not because they wanted to or because they’re just helpful like that – but because there was NO POWER and they couldn’t scan my card. Frankly, I think that they were happy to have somebody to serve since any refrigerated products needed to be eaten pretty quickly.
We returned to our room to watch the local weather person tell us to hunker down and wait it out. Ahhh, fun. After a nap, we all hiked over to the Wal-M*rt to waste some time. After a tip from a friend, I thought that we would be crafty and create Christmas trees out of ice cream cones and M*Ms. Not paying a bit of attention, it wasn’t until we got back to our room that I realized that I got the wrong kind of cones. Instead of the funnel shaped ones, I got the flat-bottomed cones. So, we attempted to make Christmas hedges. What-friggin-ever. It kept us occupied for a little while. Then, we just watched TV. I did trek to the swimming pool again, but it was still fah-reezing. More tub time! All of our fellow travelers stayed put, too. Tonight: over-priced and crappy Chinese food that I walked through drifts of snow to retrieve.
The next morning: still snowing. STILL SNOWING. Now, we’ll never get to Tahoe. Screw it. Weatherman: stay put. Roads: crap. Attitudes: tanking. Patience: gone. Me to the lobby clerk: Where do you go for fun around here? Lobby clerk to me: Well, there’s the W*lMart….. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, she wised up and recommended a great bowling alley with a huge indoor play area (since the McDon*ld’s didn’t have one). It was probably going to be busy since the schools were closed, but we were willing to face hundreds of kids. Which we would have IF IT HAD BEEN OPEN.
We stopped by the neighboring beauty salon to find out about the bowling alley’s hours, but none of them knew a thing. Funny. The entire town is at a standstill, but women can manage to still get their nails done….. Fine. Let’s go to…. We’ll….. Maybe we should….. FUCK! We are trapped in small hotel room with two toddlers!!!! What are we going to do? Liquor store, you say? Why, yes, thankyouverymuchdon’tmindifIdo. Salons and liquor stores – the only places open….. After we picked up a six-pack and another bottle of wine, we thought that we would give the bowling alley another shot. And, then the angels started to sing because the proprietor was plowing the lot!!!! We waited. You bet your ass we did. We were the first people in the place that day. The boys bowled their first (and so far, only) games. They had a blast.
Then, we ordered some greasy fries and went to the play place. It really was huge. And cool. They started having fun jumping in the balls and going down the slides, and then…..
The manager turned on the air system. So cool is this play place that it has a whole compressed air system that shoots those plastic balls around – ball fountains, ball guns, ball blowers – it’s bitchin’. Unless you’re two. Then, the noise is scary, and you just cry – a LOT. OK – let’s go back and hunker in our teeny jail cell of a hotel room and enjoy more crappy take out. It was so unexciting that I don’t even remember what it was. Lots of bickering, and TV watching. Really, that’s about all there is to do in Fernley.
We woke up the next morning and couldn’t pack stuff into the car fast enough. The weather had cleared in time for us to return to home and work. Oh, yes. The weather is always good when the weekend is over. We never made it to Tahoe. Instead, we drove the nine million hours home. After only about three million of those hours, our windshield wipers stopped wiping. They just stayed in one spot. No biggie if the weather had been perfect. However, the weekend worth of snow ensured that the roads were just wet enough that every semi-truck splashed gunk all over our windshield. We stopped about 5932 times to clean the glass with snow. It was a real treat. (By the way, the wipers worked just fine the next morning…..)
The vacation company that we booked through was nice enough to extend our package AGAIN since it was weather related. We had our choice of going to Vegas or Tahoe. Bub has declared that we are NEVER going to Tahoe again. Frankly, I think that this is unfair since we never actually made it, but whatever. Vegas it is. Fernley, NV, and its surrounding salons/liquor stores/terrifying bowling alleys/icey pools, is in the books.
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