i swear, i can't handle one more thing!

Thankfully, the semester was over when the inducer (whatever the crap that is) on our furnace decided to seize up making said furnace inoperable. While checking out the furnace (meaning "flipping the switch to see if it would magically turn on), I noticed a PUDDLE OF F'IN WATER under the water heater. If it hadn't been 4am, I would have screamed the words going through my head which aren't appropriate here - or anywhere for that matter.

So, Bub was home for the day with the boys and took care of everything to the tune of $1000. Our new inducer is loud, but at least our new water heater produces hot water in a millisecond.

It's just that this is all too much. Bub is still unemployed, and while it is great for her and the boys to have this time to bond together (and there is a trusted person looking after the, teaching them, playing with them), we just can't afford it anymore! I cannot emotionally handle it anymore. It's too much pressure.

If the furnace and water heater were it, it would be different, but since December we have lost two fridges (only replacing one so far with a used one), had to replace the timing belt and 16 valves on that piece of crap Honda, need new brakes on the Dodge, need a new windshield on the Honda, need to inspect and license both of them ASAP, we're behind on some bills, and I still have another semester which starts in 13 days. Oh, don't forget a marathon in exactly six weeks for which I still need to raise $440 and run a lot more long distances.

Let's not forget that Bub is sick for at least a week every single month. Like awful sick - barfing non-stop for an entire week. Some people say that women exaggerate their periods, but nobody would purposely and violently throw up for 7+ days. Who is going to hire her? I wouldn't! Without a job, how is she supposed to get insurance? She can't. However, she can't get Medicaid because our household income is too great even though we are not legally or biologically bound to each other. (Nice move, state of Utah. Quite convenient for you and slaughtering us. Just one more way to stick it to "the gays.")

There's a good chance that I might have a nervous breakdown soon. Luckily, Bub's folks help out a lot, but living in their debt just makes it all worse. I hate it.

No, I don't have a plan. I'm just whining which I also hate. Waaaaa...

I just need to suck it up and get a promotion or another job or something. I also need to find something ($25000 maybe) to bring me out of this funk.

Suck.