Friday, May 25, 2012

Swinging away

The stinkers - they are almost five. FIVE! I can't believe it. Since they got their swing set a couple of years ago, we have spent hours in the backyard - them laughing and soaring, Bub freaking out because they are going too high, and me pushing. I just stand behind them, and push one after the other. Sometimes we twist the chains up so that they can spin and spin and spin, but mostly, they swing. I push. We're at the point now that I am teaching them to "pump" themselves. Feet up when you go up; feet back when you go back. Easy, right? The problem is that every time I start to teach them, I get all choked up. Once they master this, they won't need my help on the swings anymore. And, I LOVE pushing them on the swings. What will I do with my time? Yardwork? Laundry? Those things don't involve nearly as many giggles and squeals. And, it's not just the swings - it's everything. They already need me less and less. They each can read just about anything in the world, it seems. Hell, Peanut pours his own milk from a gallon jug without making a mess (most of the time). Pretty soon, they will learn how to keep secrets, and they will share them with each other instead of with me. They will be able to bake their own cookies in just a couple of years. Who needs mommy after that? OH! And, I'm pretty sure that once school starts, I will cease to be a "mommy" and just become a regular 'ol "mom." Daggers to the heart! Will they want to go hiking or biking or horseback riding or exploring caves? Will they want to play video games, board games, solve puzzles? Of course. The question really is: will they want to do those things with me? Will they need me when they grow up? Will we be close? Will we share secrets and interests? Will they ask me about anatomy? Sex? Will they tell me that they snuck their first beer and got sick? Will they confide their crushes or first true loves? ACK! How I wish I could always be their girl. I didn't think this part through very well when I decided that I wanted to be a parent. OK - I'm going to go cry now.....

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