Wednesday, June 4, 2008

"I'm still here....."

So, after the boys' birthday was over and they were tucked into bed, I tried to find some thank you cards. I found a few, but what made this search really interesting is what else I found. All of our cards and envelopes and paper are kept in one drawer of the filing cabinet. I'm in it all of the time. So, when I saw a newspaper clipping, I was surprised. I've never seen any part of a newspaper in this drawer before. So, of course, I picked it up to see what it was. Imagine my surprise when it was my mom's obituary! I'm serious. I've never seen it in this drawer before. I cried, of course, because it was as if she were trying to tell me that she had been to the party, too - or that she was sorry that she missed it and that she was sorry that me and our boys had been robbed of her far too early. The trouble with me is that as much as I want to, and as many signals as I might receive, I just have a hard time believing them. I'm too much of a data and facts person. Trust me - I really, really, really want to believe in signs and angels and guardians and care from the beyond, but it's really, really, really hard for me to do so. However, this may have been the one "coincidence" that was just too weird to avoid because I don't even know how/why her obituary would have gotten into that drawer to begin with. All of the scrapbook-type stuff is kept downstairs...... I might start believing, and if/when I do, thanks mom.

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