Never want to let go

I’m not a person who believes in CIO (cry it out) parenting. I can’t ignore their cries whether it’s naptime, bedtime, grumpiness, hair pulling, or just whining and that’s because I know that these little people have no really good way to communicate with us yet. If it works for others, then that's great - for THEM. So, in the past, when I have told people that I don’t just lay the boys down to go to sleep on their own, but that I hold/cradle/cuddle them until they doze off, people just cringe. Then comes the well meaning advice that this will be a mistake as they grow up because they will require this for a couple of years. Yeah – maybe so - maybe not. But, it's my "mistake" to make. So, this has left me feeling like an idiot parent at times, and second guessing my decision more than a few times. However, I’ve still stuck with it. I still believe that it’s not necessarily right just because it’s what a majority of people do. (If that were the case, I would be straight!) So, we rock them to sleep almost every night. After a conversation with a friend, I have decided to never feel guilty for this decision anymore. Why? Because this time will never happen again. Someday in the NOT distant future, our little guys won’t be so little anymore. They won’t need us to sing to them (in fact, someday it will be downright embarrassing). They won’t want the constant movement that the rocking chair, swaying hips, or shuffling feet brings. They will climb into big boy beds all by themselves after story time is over. Two well meaning and snuggly mommies will be replaced by stuffed gorillas or tigers, plastic dinosaurs or horses, and action heroes. Since we (I) have reluctantly agreed that we shouldn’t have more kids, we are truly never going to have this time again. Oh sure, someday there may be grandkids, but even that will be different. There will be a completely different bond and reason for the hugs and kisses. It’s even starting now. Meatball is frequently very restless and can’t get comfy unless he’s in his crib. Then, he falls right to sleep. So, I will hold on to this time in our lives for as long as the little men will allow. Every giggle, every new discovery, every scream, every bottle, every sippy cup, every fake cry will never happen in the same way again. I never want to let this time and these boys go even though I know that someday I must. There is a lump in my throat just thinking about it.