Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Reality check

As I was leaving work yesterday, a co-worker let me know that she might miss some work soon since her friend's daughter, a sweet little three year old (just like my boys), is dying. Cancer. She's losing her battle really quickly. My stomach dropped and my heart jumped into my throat and I couldn't swallow for a few minutes. I couldn't wait to get home and hug, hug, HUG my little guys. (Why did I ride the bus? Damn my social responsible-ness! I can never get home QUICKLY!) I didn't exactly feel guilty for having healthy boys, but just a little bit. It was more along the lines of grateful, but if you know me, it's hard to ascertain exactly who/what I'm grateful to. Whatever. Those little boys - who don't want to sit still for dinner (or any meal, actually), who rarely want to eat what we have prepared, who refuse to settle down at night and GO TO SLEEP, who have taken to pulling hair/pushing/cluncking on heads to get their point across, who talk incessantly, who race around the house at TOP volume - yes, those little boys are the greatest and most wonderful little beings on the planet. I can't imagine my life without them. Hugs and my version of prayers to the friend of my friend. I can't - or maybe won't - even let myself pretend that I could know the measure of her sadness as she watches her daughter slip from this life.

Then, as the bus stopped to pick up new passengers, I found myself pitying a blind man who was boarding. How difficult his life must be! The bus driver said "How are you today?" as he had for each of us as we boarded. As he was very ably finding his seat, the man said "I'm just great, thankyouverymuch! Why wouldn't I be? It's all just a matter of attitude!" Really? Who was I to pity this man? He should be pitying me. Me, with my oh-so-very-busy-life. Me, dragging around my stinky running clothes and my laptop. Me, worried that I won't get all of my assignments completed in a timely manner this semester. Me, with my scowl-y face and 40-year old attitude. Me, who has to fight for equal rights. Who is pitiful in this scenario? Again with the grateful-ness: I have the strength to run and lug my laptop around. I have an employer who allows me some time during the day to go for a run. I have a brain that enables me to pursue my MBA. I live in a country that allows me to speak up for what is right (even if it is slow in coming). I just need to change my perspective and attitude!

And, then there was the FRONT PAGE of the Salt Lake Trib which featured ME AND MY FAMILY! Speaking of those equal rights..... You can read the article and see the GREAT pictures here. This is our reality, and although it stinks, at the end of the day we still have two happy, rambunctious, healthy, smart, handsome, and polite little boys who make our lives complete. Oh, and KRCL wants to interview us on the radio because of this story!

Reality check, indeed.

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