Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Sometimes, a NICU flashback will come to me, and I'll be overwhelmed with so many familiar emotions: fear, happiness, relief. Today, it was a bit of sadness mixed with fear mixed with gratitude. After Peanut went home, Meatball was stuck in the hospital for another eight days due to his NEC infection and recover. It was so hard trying to be two places at once, and I felt guilty for not being able to snuggle with them both at the same time. Although those around me probably wished that I would stop, I liked singing to the boys in the NICU, and "Return to Pooh Corner" was a favorite (because the words were easy to remember at a time when everything was a huge blur). But, after the boys were split up, I couldn't seem to get through the song without tears streaming down my face. Poor little Meatball will probably always hear shuddering sobs in the back of his mind when that song comes on the stereo.