Monday, March 17, 2008

Movement, showers, guilt

You know, not much is really happening. I can feel the boys moving - mostly in the mornings, but Bubba can't feel anything yet. Last night, however, I had a movement from "B" that I'm sure she could have felt if we had been prepared.

After the morning calestenics, they really calm down and don't do much for the rest of the day. This always makes me worry even though I know that it shouldn't. In my LOGICAL brain, I know that they are just too little (still less than a pound) for me to feel everything, but my IRRATIONAL brain really does a number.

We're hoping to paint the nursery this weekend. We'll pick up the cribs after the paint has dried. The house is a wreck while we wait to paint because we don't know where everything else will go. Right now, it's all being shoved into two spare rooms that we can barely walk through now.

Two showers are planned so far: Bub's mom is hosting one end of March and my neice/cousin (mom's side of family) are throwing one in mid-April. Two more are in the making - one for dad's side of family and one with all of our G/L friends. We'll likely have one at each of my jobs and one at Bub's work. I hope everyone brings diapers.

I still watch and read the Trying To Conceive posts. I often feel guilty and lucky at the same time. We only tried four times in five months, and we're getting two out of the deal. I cannot imagine the process taking years and being faced with set-back after set-back. In fact, knowing my own mental capacity, we actually set a timeframe when we started. If we weren't pregnant after a year, we would be done. I know that I couldn't have lasted more than that. It breaks my heart to see the TTC group go from optimism and hope to heartbreak and dispair every month. Nobody on that board could be much different than Bub and me. They all deserve our happiness (and anxiety and stress and fear and ....)

Thanking nature, my body, goddess, god, whatever.

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