Sunday, April 27, 2008


--February 22, 2008 When something scary or bad is happening to your child, your whole system seems to stop, to be suspended in time and space. You are aware that the world is functioning all around you. You know that people are going to work and school and out to dinner. But it all seems so silly and unimportant. I would never describe the feeling like being in a haze or in a cloud because everything is very clear. Hospital intercoms are still crackly and loud; fluorescent lights still flicker and buzz; snow still falls and the flakes are still cold when they land upon your face. But, it’s all rather other-worldly and removed.

Right now, Peanut is having an MRI to make sure that there are no lesions or tumors on his third cranial nerve. His pupils are different sizes, and there isn’t a logical explanation (like a concussion).

It all started with a huge difference in pupil size that Nana noticed. We went to the pediatrician where the doc checked him out and then sent us to the ER for a CT. After all, she spent six years in the ER and knows what abuse looks like. WTF??!?!?! I know that it's her job, but we are good parents. We don't drop/shake/hit our kids. I'm glad that she does this with OTHER people's kids because OTHER people suck sometimes. We don't. Anyway, after the CT scan determined that nobody needed to call social services, the ER doc recommended us to a pediatric ophthamologist the very next day. We spent much of the day at Primary's with a GREAT doc. (Turns out that we also caught RSV at one of the two offices, so both boys were sick for two weeks.) A week later, the MRI. The diagnosis? Nothing. He probably got some chemical on his hand and then rubbed his eye so the pupil nerves were sort of paralyzed for a few days. What kind of chemical? Where could it come from? Fish food, plants, floor cleaner, tracked in from the street - friggin anywhere.

"Oh, by the way, unrelated to the dilated pupil, your son's left eye muscles are lazy. He needs glasses. Here's the prescription. When you come back for a check up, we'll check the other son because it's hereditary and he might need glasses too. Have a nice day."

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